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Anthony's Half-Assed Review: Creed

February 4, 2017

 

Preface: My Brother-In-Law wanted to help me with my website. He will admit, he's not the best writer...but he is one thing: funny. We decided to give him his own segment: Anthony's Half Assed Review, and here it is. Enjoy. - Alex Cornett 

 

***Minor Spoiler Warning***

This review may contain spoilers. Read with caution

 

After watching Creed, all I could think was, “Damn I wish I had a Philly cheesesteak!” I've always loved boxing. Do I know anything about it? NOPE! Not at all. I know that the goal is to hit the other person in the head and try not to get knocked the hell out! In the opening scene, we meet a troubled little boy fighting in juvy. While watching this scene, I thought to myself, "hey is this the show Beyond Scared Straight?" After seeing Michael B. Jordan boxing I started to think, "hey I could do that, I want to start boxing!" After trying to do jumping jacks while watching, I quickly realized, "ehhh I'd rather just eat that Philly cheesesteak on screen!" Did anyone else think when MJ went on that date with that deaf singer, “damn, that’s a big ass sandwich! There ain’t no way he's going to eat all of that.” He's a boxer, you know. And boxers gotta keep their weight in check. 


Overall I thought, “wow. They are trying so hard to make the same damn Rocky movies all over again.” A troubled kid who just wants to knock people out. He doesn't want to be like his dad…but he wants to fight people like his dad. Then to make this movie even sadder, here's an idea! ‘Hey everyone! Let’s give Rocky cancer…” ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!?!?! The man's been through enough already! All in all, I wish I was jacked like MJ…but I also love Philly cheesesteaks! 


So lets rate this movie, shall we? Because it's set in Philly and I like Philly cheesesteaks, I will rate the movie out of cheesesteaks. Out of 1 to 5 cheesesteaks, I give it 4. I would have given it 5 cheesesteaks, but I decided to dock it one cheesepoint because I wish MJ had punched at least one cow gut in a freezer, just to carry on tradition. Overall, the movie was very predictable…yet I'm still ready to see the next one when it hits theaters. 

 

 

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